Dear Dr. Norquist:
I don’t get anything I want. Everything I go after, I don’t get. I want a job, I don’t get it, but I get a crappy clerk job instead, maybe assistant manager some day. I want my former girlfriend to see that the guy she’s dating is very bad for her. We had a really good time together. We had a few difficulties but I’m sure we could have worked them out if she hadn’t started seeing this guy. My parents are really no help. They say move on, try something new, be happy. But I know what I want.
I understand you can’t get everything you want but I think I should be able to get a job I’m really good at and find a girl that’s good for me. I know I shouldn’t be fixed on one girl but I know we’re good together and I’m sure deep down she knows that too. I feel like I’m left sitting around waiting for my real life to start. It doesn’t seem right. It all seems like such a waste.
Dr. Norquist responds:
A wise person once said to me “we draw to us those experiences that we most need.” The pain comes from resisting the flow, rejecting the way life is unfolding and holding on to what was, or what we want life to be. There is great wisdom in accepting and learning to work with what is. Life’s experiences mold us. Who we become is the result of our response to these events and experiences. When things don’t go your way, what is your response? What do you bring forth from within to meet that life event? What wisdom, virtues, skills, depth of understanding and degree of compassion do you develop from the heartache (and joy) you experience along the road of life? This is up to you. Adversity can make or break a person. Will you succumb to difficulties or will they become the impetus for greater growth and development? Life provides the experiences we need. We determine the effect it will have on us and therefore, who we become as a result. This is where the power lies. You do not have to be a victim of your life circumstances. I encourage you to claim your power and determine for yourself how you can use these experiences for your own growth and development.
